English Books

26 Item(s)

  • 11,002 Things To Be Miserable About: The Satirical Not-So-Happy Book

    11,002 Things to Be Miserable About is a list of all the reasons NOT to wake up in the morning. Ironically enough, when you put all of them under one cover, it’s actually very funny. This decidedly absurd inventory of misery is perfect for sardonic and disaffected youth, for people seeking gifts for Traumatic Event Birthdays (like 21, 25, 30, 40, and, well, anything after 40), and for anyone else with an offbeat sense of humor. Enjoy.
     
    Some of the entries are pretty basic, like imitation crabmeat, student loans, and David Hasselhoff, but other entries actually include educational things, like: Dust mites, which make up one-third of the weight of a six-year-old pillow. See, you can laugh and learn.

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  • Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things (International Edition)

    In Furiously Happy, #1 New York Times bestselling author Jenny Lawson explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea.


    But terrible ideas are what Jenny does best.


    As Jenny says:


    "Some people might think that being 'furiously happy' is just an excuse to be stupid and irresponsible and invite a herd of kangaroos over to your house without telling your husband first because you suspect he would say no since he's never particularly liked kangaroos. And that would be ridiculous because no one would invite a herd of kangaroos into their house. Two is the limit. I speak from personal experience. My husband says that none is the new limit. I say he should have been clearer about that before I rented all those kangaroos.


     


    "Most of my favorite people are dangerously fucked-up but you'd never guess because we've learned to bare it so honestly that it becomes the new normal. Like John Hughes wrote in The Breakfast Club, 'We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it.' Except go back and cross out the word 'hiding.'"


    Furiously Happy is about "taking those moments when things are fine and making them amazing, because those moments are what make us who we are, and they're the same moments we take into battle with us when our brains declare war on our very existence. It's the difference between "surviving life" and "living life". It's the difference between "taking a shower" and "teaching your monkey butler how to shampoo your hair." It's the difference between being "sane" and being "furiously happy."


    Lawson is beloved around the world for her inimitable humor and honesty, and in Furiously Happy, she is at her snort-inducing funniest. This is a book about embracing everything that makes us who we are - the beautiful and the flawed - and then using it to find joy in fantastic and outrageous ways. Because as Jenny's mom says, "Maybe 'crazy' isn't so bad after all." Sometimes crazy is just right.


     

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  • Game of Thrones: Hand of the King Wax Seal Kit

    The Hand of the King serves as the head of the reigning king's Small Council and, in the king's absence, the Hand becomes his proxy. The individual charged with this powerful responsibility uses the Hand of the King's wax seal stamp to seal royally issued documents. Game of Thrones: Hand of the King Wax Seal Kit includes a Hand of the King wax seal, wax stick, mini envelopes, and blank scrolls.

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  • Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened

    #1 New York Times Bestseller

    “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations.

    FROM THE PUBLISHER:
    Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices.

    This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written.

    Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to.

    FROM THE AUTHOR:
    This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book:

    Pictures
    Words
    Stories about things that happened to me
    Stories about things that happened to other people because of me
    Eight billion dollars*
    Stories about dogs
    The secret to eternal happiness*

    *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

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  • Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

    Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?” 
     
    Perhaps you want to know what Mindy thinks makes a great best friend (someone who will fill your prescription in the middle of the night), or what makes a great guy (one who is aware of all elderly people in any room at any time and acts accordingly), or what is the perfect amount of fame (so famous you can never get convicted of murder in a court of law), or how to maintain a trim figure (you will not find that information in these pages). If so, you’ve come to the right book, mostly!
     
    In Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Mindy invites readers on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood, with several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls. Mindy Kaling really is just a Girl Next Door—not so much literally anywhere in the continental United States, but definitely if you live in India or Sri Lanka.





    From the Hardcover edition.


     

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  • Little Miss Basic: A Parody

    Little Miss Basic loves her Uggs, her pumpkin spice lattes, and texting her totes amaze Basic B*tches. But when she gets dumped by her BAE, Mr. Douchebag, she feels sad and ratchet inside. How can a Basic bounce back? 
    Meet her friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Mr. Selfie, Little Miss Overshare, and Mr. Humblebrag! 

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  • Little Miss Overshare: A Parody

    Little Miss Overshare is so very generous, she sometimes gives toomuch. Too much information! In this heartwarming tell-all tale, she informs a senior citizen about her sex life, discusses her digestive system with her roommate, and chit-chats about her lady problems at the office water cooler. Do you know a silly someone who shares more than her fair share? Then you’ll want to share Little Miss Overshare! 
    Meet her friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Mr. Selfie , Mr. Humblebrag and Little Miss Basic! 

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  • Mr. Humblebrag: A Parody

    Silly Mr. Humblebrag. He has fame, fortune, and a hot fiancé, and he can’t wait to tell everyone how darn #lucky he is. But what if they hate his guts instead of revel in his success? In this inspiring tribute to false modesty, Mr. Humblebrag learns the most important lesson of all: Everyone loves a winner as long as he acts like a loser. 
    Meet his friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Mr. Selfie, Little Miss Overshare, and Little Miss Basic! 

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  • Mr. Selfie: A Parody

    For Mr. Selfie, every op is a photo op—as long as he is the one in front of the lens. And also behind it! He risks his job taking selfies at work. He risks his life taking selfies at the zoo. And whenever he feels romantic, he whips out his selfie stick and sexts that special someone: himself. Do you know someone with no selfie-control? Then you’ll love Mr. Selfie as much as Mr. Selfie does
    Meet his friends from the Little Miss and Mr. ME ME ME parody series: Little Miss Overshare, Mr. Humblebrag and Little Miss Basic! 

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  • Outlander: Mini Mortar & Pestle Set
    An Outlander officially-licensed, mini-size mortar and pestle set.


    Based off the New York Times bestselling series that has millions of fans worldwide, Outlander has quickly established itself as TV’s favorite new period drama. Included in this kit is a mini-size mortar and pestle set-just like the one Claire uses to help heal the sick-and a 32-page book of quotes and images from the TV show.

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  • Pop Sonnets: Shakespearean Spins on Your Favorite Songs

    The Bard meets the Backstreet Boys in Pop Sonnets, a collection of 100 classic pop songs reimagined as Shakespearean sonnets. All of your favorite artists are represented in these pages—from Bon Jovi and Green Day to Miley Cyrus, Beyoncé, and beyond. Already a smash sensation on the Internet—the Tumblr page has 20,000+ followers—Pop Sonnets has been featured by the A.V. Club, BuzzFeed, and Vanity Fair, among many others. More than half of these pop sonnets are exclusive to this collection and have never been published in any form.

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  • Romeo and/or Juliet: A Chooseable-Path Adventure

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  • The Autobiography of James T. Kirk

    The Autobiography of James T. Kirk chronicles the greatest Starfleet captain's life (2233–2371), in his own words. From his birth on the U.S.S. Kelvin, his youth spent on Tarsus IV, his time in the Starfleet Academy, his meteoric raise through the ranks of Starfleet, and his illustrious career at the helm of the Enterprise, this in-world memoir uncovers Captain Kirk in a way Star Trek fans have never seen. Kirk's singular voice rings throughout the text, giving insight into his convictions, his bravery, and his commitment to the life—in all forms—throughout this Galaxy and beyond. Excerpts from his personal correspondence, captain's logs, and more give Kirk's personal narrative further depth.

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  • The Book Lover's Cup Of Tea: Includes Tea Infuser

    The perfect gift for any bookworm in your life, The Book Lover's Cup of Tea includes an innovative book-shaped tea infuser (titled A Tale of Two Ci-Teas) that offers two ways to brew: Dunk the entire book into your cup, or let the cover rest on the rim of your tea cup and hang the tea-filled pages into your hot water to steep. The kit also includes a 32-page book with tips for making the perfect cup of tea; suggestions for tea and book pairings (fancy a cup of Dorian Earl Gray?); and scrumptious recipes for tea sandwiches, cakes, and cookies, perfect for a book club gathering or a long, lazy day of reading.

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  • The Fangirl's Guide to the Galaxy: A Handbook for Girl Geeks

    Fanfic, cosplay, cons, books, memes, podcasts, vlogs, OTPs and RPGs and MMOs and more—it’s never been a better time to be a girl geek. The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy is the ultimate handbook for ladies living the nerdy life, a fun and feminist take on the often male-dominated world of geekdom. With delightful illustrations and an unabashed love for all the in(ternet)s and outs of geek culture, this book is packed with tips, playthroughs, and cheat codes, including:

    • How to make nerdy friends
    • How to rock awesome cosplay
    • How to write fanfic with feels
    • How to defeat Internet trolls
    • How to attend your first con

    And more! Plus, insightful interviews with fangirl faves, like Jane Espenson, Erin Morgenstern, Kate Beaton, Ashley Eckstein, Laura Vandervoort, Beth Revis, Kate Leth, and many others.

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  • The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F*Ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don't Have with People You Don't Like Doing Things You Don't Want to Do

    THE "GENIUS" (Cosmopolitan) NATIONAL BESTSELLER 
    ON THE ART OF CARING LESS AND GETTING MORE
    Are you stressed out, overbooked, and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? It's time to stop giving a f*ck.



    This brilliant, hilarious, and practical parody of Marie Kondo's bestseller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt--and give your f*cks instead to people and things that make you happy.

    The easy-to-use, two-step NotSorry Method for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f*ck about: 


    • Family drama

    • Having a "bikini body"

    • Iceland

    • Co-workers' opinions, pets, and children

    • And other bullsh*t!


    And it will free you to spend your time, energy, and money on the things that really matter. So what are you waiting for? Stop giving a f*ck and start living your best life today!

     

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  • The Mini Bonsai Kit

    With this kit, complete with a 32page book explaining bonsai gardening, an instruction sheet, a small pot, a peat pellet, a packet of seeds, and a pair of scissors, indoor gardeners can grow a peaceful mini-garden anywhere they choose. Whether it's on a desk or in a kitchen, this little bit of greenery will brighten up the day-just add water! Also available in a full-size kit

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  • The Mini Merry Berry Bonsai Kit

    Stressed out by the upcoming holidays? Invite tranquility into your home or workplace with your own holiday bonsai tree. Based upon a centuries-old tradition, the kit includes a pot, seeds, a peat pellet, and small scissors, plus a 44-page introduction to the beauty of berry bonsai. With a little patience, you'll enjoy growing a miniature version of this already miniature art!

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  • The New Uxbridge English Dictionary

    With The Uxbridge English Dictionary the stars of BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue had the nation in stitches. But times move on, words change and their meanings with them. Comedy's most outrageous dictionary is back with a hilarious new collection of definitions for all those English words that don't mean anything like they should.


    If you have ever pondered the meaning of Platypus (to give your cat pigtails), Flemish (rather like snot) or Celtic (a prison for fleas), then this is the book for you.


    With nearly 600 new definitions from radio’s best loved comedy show, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, The New Uxbridge English Dictionary pushes the boundaries of the English language to new side-splitting limits.


    A must for any fan of British comedy.


     

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  • The Sellout: A Novel

    Winner of the Man Booker Prize

    Winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in Fiction

    Winner of the John Dos Passos Prize for Literature

    Los Angeles Times Bestseller

    Named One of the 10 Best Books of the Year by The New York Times Book Review

    Named a Best Book of the Year by NewsweekThe Denver PostBuzzFeedKirkus Reviews, and Publishers Weekly
     
    Named a "Must-Read" by Flavorwire and New York Magazine's "Vulture" Blog

    A biting satire about a young man's isolated upbringing and the race trial that sends him to the Supreme Court, Paul Beatty's The Sellout showcases a comic genius at the top of his game. It challenges the sacred tenets of the United States Constitution, urban life, the civil rights movement, the father-son relationship, and the holy grail of racial equality—the black Chinese restaurant.


    Born in the "agrarian ghetto" of Dickens—on the southern outskirts of Los Angeles—the narrator of The Selloutresigns himself to the fate of lower-middle-class Californians: "I'd die in the same bedroom I'd grown up in, looking up at the cracks in the stucco ceiling that've been there since '68 quake." Raised by a single father, a controversial sociologist, he spent his childhood as the subject in racially charged psychological studies. He is led to believe that his father's pioneering work will result in a memoir that will solve his family's financial woes. But when his father is killed in a police shoot-out, he realizes there never was a memoir. All that's left is the bill for a drive-thru funeral.


    Fueled by this deceit and the general disrepair of his hometown, the narrator sets out to right another wrong: Dickens has literally been removed from the map to save California from further embarrassment. Enlisting the help of the town's most famous resident—the last surviving Little Rascal, Hominy Jenkins—he initiates the most outrageous action conceivable: reinstating slavery and segregating the local high school, which lands him in the Supreme Court.


     

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  • Thing Explainer: Complicated Stuff in Simple Words

    Have you ever tried to learn more about some incredible thing, only to be frustrated by incomprehensible jargon?  Randall Munroe is here to help.  In Thing Explainer, he uses line drawings and only the thousand (or, rather, “ten hundred”) most common words to provide simple explanations for some of the most interesting stuff there is, including:



    • food-heating radio boxes (microwaves)

    • tall roads (bridges)

    • computer buildings (datacenters)

    • the shared space house (the International Space Station)

    • the other worlds around the sun (the solar system)

    • the big flat rocks we live on (tectonic plates)

    • the pieces everything is made of (the periodic table)

    • planes with turning wings (helicopters)

    • boxes that make clothes smell better (washers and dryers)

    • the bags of stuff inside you (cells)



    How do these things work? Where do they come from? What would life be like without them? And what would happen if we opened them up, heated them up, cooled them down, pointed them in a different direction, or pressed this button? In Thing Explainer, Munroe gives us the answers to these questions and so many more. Funny, interesting, and always understandable, this book is for anyone—age 5 to 105—who has ever wondered how things work, and why.


     

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  • Thug Notes: A Street-Smart Guide to Classic Literature

    Sparky Sweets, PhD, and Wisecrack proudly present this outrageously funny, ultra-sharp guide to literature based on the hit online series,Thug Notes. Inside, you’ll find hilarious plot breakdowns and masterful analyses of sixteen of literature’s most beloved classics, including:Things Fall ApartTo Kill a MockingbirdHamletThe Catcher in the Rye,Lord of the FliesPride and Prejudice, and more!
     
    The series Thug Notes has been featured on BET, PBS, and NPR and has been used in hundreds of classrooms around the world. Whether you’re a student, teacher, or straight-up literary gangster like Dr. Sweets, Thug Notes has got you covered. You’ll certainly never look at literature the same way again.

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  • To Be or Not to Be: A Chooseable-Path Adventure

     

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  • We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.: Essays



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  • What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions (International Edition)

    From the creator of the wildly popular webcomic xkcd, surprising answers to important questions you probably never thought to ask

    Millions of people around the world visit xkcd.com each week to read Randall Munroe’s iconic webcomic. His stick-figure drawings about science, technology, language, and love have an enormous, dedicated following, as do his deeply researched answers to his fans’ strangest questions. The queries he receives range from merely odd to downright diabolical: 

    • What if I took a swim in a spent nuclear fuel pool?
    • Could you build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?
    • What if a Richter 15 earthquake hit New York City?
    • What would happen if someone’s DNA vanished? 

    His responses are comic gems, accurately and entertainingly explaining everything from your odds of meeting your soul mate to the many horrible ways you could die while building a periodic table out of all the actual elements.

    This book features the most popular answers from the xkcd’s What If blog, but many of the questions (51 percent!) are new and answered here for the first time. What If? is an informative feast for xkcd fans and anyone who loves to ponder the hypothetical.

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  • What's Your Poo Telling You?

    With universal appeal (everyone poops, after all), this witty, illustrated description of over two dozen dookies (each with a medical explanation written by a doctor) details what one can learn about health and well-being by studying what's in the bowl. A floater? It's probably due to a buildup of gas. Now think back on last night's dinner, a burrito perhaps? . . .All the greatest hits are here: The Log Jam, The Glass Shard, The Deja Poo, The Hanging Chad . . . the list goes on. Sidebars, trivia, over 60 euphemisms for number 2, and unusual case histories all make this the ultimate bathroom reader. Who knew you could learn so much from your poo?

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